How do you reprove wisely and constructively? Magnify the good; emphasize that which has worth. To advise or reprove someone in reminding a person of their faults will cause them to become more keenly conscious of those faults. They'll think more about them and so they'll be more likely to focus on those faults. Will that help them become better? Most likely not. Weaknesses of human nature should be recognized as little as possible, and should seldom, if ever, be mentioned.
To help our friends, spouses, and especially our children, we should never mention their faults. Our conversation should focus on the strong points in their character and their greater possibilities. There's enough people in the world that will cut them down and belittle them. We should frame our conversation so that we tend to make everybody feel that there's something of worth in them.
Use an optimistic tone. It should deal with those things in life that are worth while, and always give the ideal the greatest prominence.
Listen to them. Perhaps the problems they have are routed in frustration or feelings of inferiority. There are "neggies" floating around us all the time. You know, there those people who rain on everyone's parade. People who seem to take joy in making sure those around them feel as bad about themselves as possible by saying things that are just destructive. That's the power of words and emotions. Those neggies can make people-children-feel so bad that it causes anger and destructive behavior.
When someone needs to be reproved, you get a lot further with love. Rather than say, "That was just stupid. What were you thinking?" Find out the why's, really listen to them, and make constructive suggestions without belittling. Most of all, be patient. Sometimes it takes time.
We all have worth. We are all unique, special, creations that have never-ending potential and gifts. Find out what strengths are within everyone with whom you associate. By doing so, you'll discover the beauty within them and how special they are.
Next time, more on children...
Love & joy to you,
Donna
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